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October 1, 2009

My Best Buddy....

Sticking with my theme of the blog, Glory Days, I like to reminisce a lot. I figured today should be no different because 5 years ago this weekend I adopted my best buddy Toby from PetSmart in Olathe.

Why Toby you may ask? Well this weekend Brittany and I are taking our engagement pictures, and the pups will be in some of them, so I was instructed to get Toby a haircut and cleaned up so he looks his best for pictures. For some reason I had a tough time dropping him off this morning to get groomed. He just stared at me when I walked out like "Hey why aren't you staying? Where are you going?" I have to admit it broke my heart a bit and got me thinking and it hit me. Oh my god 5 years ago this weekend I got Toby!!!

It all started with my then roommate Mikie. We were loving living in our own apartment and always talked about how we needed a dog. Nevermind the fact that we weren't allowed to have them in our apartment. So in a typical college move, I do not think about ramifications of my decision and we drive to the Lawrence Humane Society. Mikie, myself and the ex girlfriend (stepmother as Brittany calls her) get in my mexican S-10 Extreme pickup on a Saturday morning eager to get a dog. I remember thinking how bad I wanted a bigger dog and one that had a light colored, golden colored coat. Growing up in our house of 6 men and my mother you would have thought for sure we had a big lab or golden retriever as our family pet. Nope not us. My mom outruled us and put her foot down and we had Missy, a Shih-Tzu/Toy Poodle mix. She was a foo-foo dog for sure and weighed about 11 pounds. Not what you would imagine for a family of 5 boys, but she was a great dog. She came to all of our baseball games, but only followed my Mom everywhere. I was always jealous and wanted a dog to love me that much, so I decided that if I ever get a dog, it would be big so it can play fetch with me and we would have all sorts of adventures.

Back to the story, we get to the humane society in Lawrence and after looking at all of the dogs, none really strike my fancy. Then they bring out a gorgeous Australian Shepherd puppy. This dog was a little fluff ball, and had the brightest blue eyes I had ever seen. I instantly decided this is the perfect dog but find out I am 9th on the list. So if the 8 families before me decide they don't want her, she is mine.

I realize that I have a better chance of marrying Brittany Bruns (remember I had seen her at this point and thought she was my moon goddess, hahaha I can't believe I just typed that) than I do getting this dog. I leave somewhat dejected. I should have stopped there and took that as a sign, I don't need a dog, especially in college. So what do I do? I say I want to keep looking and drive to Kansas City to goto an adoption day at PetSmart!!!

When we arrive at petsmart they have all of the dogs lined up in their kennels. I see this perfect dog that I want. She was so peaceful, calm and was a golden retriever/australian shepherd mix. Her name was Abby I think or something like that. I fall in love, this is the dog I have always pictured. Big, calm, fun and most importantly OBEDIENT! I am ready to take Abby to the counter until Mikie and the Ex GF, come running up. "Jimmy you have to look at this dog!!!" I say ok, knowing I cannot be swayed. I see one of the most ugly looking dogs I had ever seen (or so I thought). I say no way. He has dark colored fur, and he has black spots on his tongue, and it looks like he has cripmed blonde hair on his ears. No way. As those thoughts run through my head, I can't quite describe it but this dog was just looking at me so calmly. I couldn't put my finger on why this dog was so funny and attracting me. Maybe it was the blonde highlighted crimped hair? Maybe it was the fact he was sitting literally I shit you not, and as you all know like a little human being with lots of fur and four legs?? Maybe it was this bushy tail that looked like it belonged to a 40lb. squirrel. I don't quite know what it was, but I asked to take him out of his cage so I could get a better look at him. I should have known right there this dog would be mine in 30 minutes. They let him out and he jumps on me and hugs me in typical dog fashion. I lift him up for some reason and he goes to town licking my face. I chuckle look back at Abby who at this point was back asleep in her cage and realized I needed a dog with some pep in his step.

Good lord almighty did I get one with pep in the step!!!! I pay the 40$ adoption fee and after getting some toys head back to Lawrence with MY first dog, Scout! Yes Scout was this dog's name. Mikie and I decide that this is extremely too lame for a dog that I will own. I mentioned to him a few weeks earlier that if I ever get a dog, I would like to name him after my favorite country music artist Toby Keith. We think this dog looks just like a Toby and I settle. Scout is gay and stupid and Toby is a much better name for this mutt. We head back to Lawrence, I am excited for fetch, sleeping together, and a new wingman. Little did I know that Toby would be there for Brittany's and mine first date, which I will detail later in this post, our engagement and probably our first child (scary). He would also play an integral role in Brittany liking me. I think Britt described it one time as 85-90% of the reason she liked me when we were dating was because of my half human dog.

And that my friends is the story of how Toby became a Carter. I thought I would share some of his finer moments. A week or so after I got Toby we were at a pet store and I saw this book. "Dog Tricks for Dummies." I laugh and thumb through it, and they show you how to teach your dog to fetch you a drink from the beer, roll over, play dead etc. etc. I think sweet this dog can get me beers how awesome will that be. I am not exaggerating this at all that night after hopelessly trying to get Toby to perform I quit and watch TV. Toby being not fully potty trained yet decides to lift his leg and pee on a low sitting shelf. Why is this funny you ask??? On that shelf and again this is God's honest truth, was the book "Dog Tricks for Dummies" covered in dog urine. I thought it was ironic and that was the last time I tried to train Toby.

As it is well known Toby has an iron stomach. Nothing will kill this dog. He has eaten rat poison, cans of chewing tobacco, an entire pack of cigarettes (that was an interesting night), an entire cheesball Brittany almost killed him for that, an entire chipotle burrito, 3, 1 lb. raw chicken breasts, an entire pan of uncooked Thanksgiving dinner rolls, My mom wanted to kill him for that, a wallet of mine, a credit card of mine, my ex-girlfriends cellphone, several pairs of women's shoes, lots of beer, raw steaks, my dad wanted to kill him for that....shall I continue????

Anyways as promised there is one of my favorite Toby tales of all time. Mine and Brittany's first date. It was at the dog park, by Clinton Lake in Lawrence. I frequented this often in college because Toby would run wild for 3 hours and come back home and actually be calm. Its amazing what running around for 10 miles will do to a dog! Anyways as I always did I showed Brittany our standard walk at the dog park. Toby of course was off leash. (By the way nothing pisses me off more than when I goto a dog park and a person has their dog on a leash, I think that is so retarded and mean and I want to go put a leash on the human and make them walk around). We walk down to the spillway, which feeds into this mini river/stream in the dog park, where dogs goto swim or wade in the water. Toby loves (well did love) this area. He always (used to) went out there to wade. Never swim, but Toby for some weird reason just liked testing the waters, pun intended. This time however we had had a huge thunderstorm the night before so the spillway was opened all the way to lower the water level in Clinton Lake. When this happens it actually turns from a stream into a river and there is tons of water and it moves VERY fast. I tell Toby no don't go near the stream. (Side note here, I am pretty sure that Toby thinks his name is "No" he hears it so much, in fact I am convinced of it). Anyways Toby doing what Toby does best, ignores me and wades on out into the stream. Like I said earlier it is moving pretty fast and I could barely stand up in it, it was so strong. Toby gets out to the middle of this river, and poof. He pulls his best Harry Houdini disappearing act and is gone. I look at Brittany and she looks back at me like, "What the hell, where did he go??" I chuckle a bit thinking dumb dog, serves him right.

Brittany and I stand patiently on nice, dry ground waiting for my dog to go down this mini waterfall and come up, learning his lesson. 1 second passes, no Toby, 5 seconds pass, no Toby. about 20 seconds pass, and yup still no Toby. By this point you would have thought Brittany just had her child kidnapped or stolen. Brittany is crying, "oh my god, is he dead, where is he, JIMMY wah wah wah" I, trying to impress her and as I always do am the cool-headed mature one, and instead of losing my cool think, ok what can I do here. I realize that this mini waterfall is creating a suction of sorts, because the water is flowing so fast, and poor Toby is not strong enough to get his head above the current. So what do I do????

In a move that will be talked about, laughed about and discussed with our future family I bravely jump completely in the freezing water grab Toby and rescue him from drowning on the spot. I get him out of the water and he runs off unfazed. I look over at Brittany and you would have thought that I had put the sun in the sky, the way she was gawking at me. I was her hero! I had just saved a dog's life. Brittany would later let me know that, that was the instant she knew she loved me and that we would have a long bright future together.

As with almost all my posts, I think it is so funny how I and all of us get so set on something being one way. In my case I wanted a golden haired, calm obedient dog that played fetch. We can't explain why things turn out so extremely different than we planned, but for some reason we go with it and end up with a Chow-German Shepherd Mixed Mutt, that has dark hair, and crimped ears, that You would swear is Satan's dog at some points.

Its just so crazy to me the way things work out, this dog I didn't want, who had none of my prerequisites in a dog, would be responsible for getting me my future wife. That is just crazy folks. I always joke with people and we laugh about how bad of a dog Toby is. (Marley, from Marley and Me, ain't got shit on Toby!) I always say with my luck Toby will never die and I'll never get rid of him and he will live until he is 25! I can only hope looking back on our good times that I am that lucky to have him live that long. I wanted a wing man in a dog, and boy did I get one! Love ya Tob!

September 24, 2009

4 Years, Where has the time gone.

Well today is Brittany and I's (I think that's proper english?) 4 years of dating anniversary and my oh my where has the time gone. A lot has happened in those 4 years. I thought I would outline some of the things that have changed since then.

When I met Britt she had a boyfriend. Now she has a fiancee’, me of course. Brittany had short, blonde hair now she has long dark brown hair (oh jet black according to her and her blog, but I like it and tell her that it makes her look exotic). When I met her only one dog ruled our lives, the man-beast, half dog-half human, Toby and now we have 3 dogs, 2 kennels and a partridge in a pear tree.
When I met Brittany she rented a house in Manhattan, KS and now we own a house together.
The infamous apartment where Brittany talked to me all night, the first time we met, (yes LITERALLY all night, in fact I fell asleep standing up and woke up and was scared because I thought she saw me sleeping and would think I was a jerk, thus negating any chance I would ever have with this hot girl, but no, not Brittany, she didn’t skip a beat and kept talking at her usual pace of 234,3234,375 wpm. To this day I have never met anyone who talks as much or as fast as Brittany. In her world, something that can be said in 15 words takes her 143 for some reason. But that’s why we love her)…..ANYWAYS that apartment, the glorious Oread Heights, is gone now in Lawrence and having a hotel built in his place. Something tells me that when we take our 4 sons to Lawrence and I say “Boys, that is where your mother and I first met, won’t have the same affect looking at a hotel as a trashy run down apartment would have.

Of course it wasn’t always hugs and kisses with Brittany and I. Lest we forget our break. Brittany decided she didn’t want to date a young college stallion anymore and thought a break was in order for us. (she says mutual break, I say I was dumped!) I mean what was this girl thinking, she had a 5th year college senior, with little ambition, no career prospects and no job prospects and to top that off she had a job where she worked 60 hours a week and traveled every week and she was going to just throw that away!?!?! Its funny how things work out though, because without that break I don’t think Brittany and I would have ever gotten engaged/married. The true signs of a good relationship are lasting through the tough times. Anyone in the world can do the relationship when it is in its honeymoon phase and things are good. But long lasting relationships, are the ones that persevere through the tough times, and although at the time I hated Brittany for it, I look back and am glad it happened as it let both of us figure out what we wanted to do with our lives, which turned out to be sharing them with each other forever.

Ok, now I feel all sappy and stupid now, see what happens when you are engaged to a Hallmark worker? Everything becomes a greeting card! But back to the stories. Like I was saying it hasn’t been all good times with Britt and I. One of my favorite stories was the webcam/skype idea. Oh man what a doozy this one is. As the 6 of you that read this blog know, Brittany and I did the Lawrence/Manhattan long distance relationship thing pretty well. Well about 3-4 months into dating Brittany being Brittany decided that while yes things were great and good, they could be better. I have always maintained that the thing I love the most about Brittany is also the thing I hate the most about her and that is that she is never content with ANYTHING! We could have the perfect house and the perfect jobs and Brittany would still want us to have more. In a way this is a good thing for me, because I have the tendency like all men to become lazy and this makes me be my best, whether I like it or not. But back to the story (man I have ADD this morning).

So it’s a Sunday night in Lawrence and Brittany and I were finishing up a weekend of fun. Brittany sees an ad in the paper, buy one webcam get one free. She instantly freaks out. “Oh my God Jimmy we have to get these, imagine how fun it will be to see each other everyday while we talk! It will be so much better because we will get to see each other everyday” I go on and on about how retarded this is, as 80% of all of her ideas are. She pushes and pushes and finally I say ok lets do it. We goto Office Max spend our $25 and get 2 webcams. Brittany is all eager to use them and I think the next night we have everything set up and ready to go and start in on the Skype part of our relationship. Well much to my happiness this phase lasted all of about 4.5 days. I notice that as the week is going on that Brittany is becoming agitated easily and annoyed by everything I do. I’ve realized now that sometimes Brittany wants to be mad, just to be mad, because she likes to get mad at me. I think she thinks it’s a sport and if it is she is an All-Star in it. I can sense our relationship quickly leaving the honeymoon phase and entering first fight phase which is the most crucial. 85% of couples do not last past their first fight (yes, I just made that up). So Brittany talks about how this might not be working out, blah blah blah I’m not really paying attention. A day passes and we don’t talk. I go down to Manhattan to visit her and we find that spark again. I am happy and life is good.

Fast forward two weeks and Britt and I are talking about how stupid of an idea the webcams were. Brittany then confesses it. “I was upset because I had to talk to you and do nothing else because you could see me and I think my grades were suffering (meaning Brittany’s first B grade , which is another fun story of us almost breaking up).” Now yes I know what you are thinking as I was thinking the same thing. God forbid you pay attention to your boyfriend while you two are so far apart!!!! She goes on to say that she likes the phone so much better because she is able to “multi-task.” Translation I can do my homework, shop, watch TV, talk to pi-phi’s, pretty much do anything but pay attention to me. I’ve realized that Brittany while a great talker, a good listener she is not. I guess Britt failed to realize that the purpose of the webcam is to be in front of it and actually paying attention to the person you are looking at on the other end.

I sometimes think that when I tell her stuff today instead of listening to what I am saying she is thinking in her head what she is going to say next. Anyways I hope that you guys found that story funny. I probably didn’t tell it right, but its funny that something that Brittany thought would bring us closer like webcams almost broke us up. I laugh about it now of course because I mean who would have thought that by seeing your long-distance girlfriend/boyfriend every day via webcam would be the cause of your relationship ending. I certainly didn’t.

September 18, 2009

Bets for the weekend.

If there are any gambling males that read this out there (or I guess gambling females) a few bets I am leaning towards making this weekend. Went 3-1 Last weekend, we will see what happens this weekend.

UAB (+6.5)
Bowling Green (-3)
Army (-7.5)
California (-14)
Vanderbilt (-9)

Hey not all posts can be funny stuff about Brittany, need some sort of sports content here too.

Oh how you are weird....let me count the ways

So everyone reading this blog can agree on one thing. That Brittany is proably the most weird person we all know. I mean that in a good way of course. You reading know what I am talking about. Brittany's uncanny ability to be bizarre/awkward knows no boundaries. But today Brittany privelged me with a gem of an example.

No she didn't talk to her dogs in an arabian/mexican accent. No she wasn't doing her creepy half grin, half wave...and No she wasn't dancing. Today Brittany made a mistake that millions of three year olds make. Funny enough she touched on it in her blog today and in typical Brittany fashion she underplayed it big time.

For those that don't know let me walk you through Brittany's morning routine. Get up at 5:07am (or something like that. Brittany refuses to get up at a normal alarm time that ends in a 5 or 0. That in itself is weird to me, but hey I've learned to love it and myself get up at 6:47 now). After she gets up she takes the dogs out, feeds them, and throws them in bed with me. Where Willy proceeds to lick the sheets. Yes you read that right, our fat weiner dog has developed a habit of licking the sheets and literally soaking them. Brittany naturally thinks its the cutest and funniest thing she has ever seen. Me.....not so much. There aren't many things I hate worse than rolling over into a wet sheet, soaked in dog slobber, but I digress.

So after she sees me squirm in bed for a bit and devilishly laugh at my uncomfort (Brittany also gets mad that I wake up an hour after her, and does not hesitate to turn on bright lights, talk to the dogs and make them growl or blow dry her hair, all while I am trying to sleep). So after all of this drama, she decides it is time to get dressed. Well this morning Brittany apparently had trouble.

Britt is usually dressed and ready to go at like 6 am or so. Today was no different, ready she was and off to work at 6:30. Fast forward 2 hours and I get a Blackberry Message from her at work. It says "My tanktop is on backwards!" Yes hilarious. I think it is hysterical that she has worn her clothes backwards for 2 + hours. How does an adult even manage to do this anymore without almost instantly noticing? I laugh and think man how awkward you had to goto the bathroom to change that around. Well yes a normal person would do this instantly. Not our Brittany. She proceeds to tell me that well she doesnt usually get up to goto the bathroom until 9:00 am or so, and she will wait to do it then.

Yet again, YES you read that right. Instead of being a normal person and laughing about it and changing, Brittany decided that she would wait another 30 minutes to do it because "its not that noticeable." Now if that is not one of the more strange things you hear today, then you must have some doozy's that I need to hear.

Funny too that had I decided to not give everyone a free backstage pass into my unique fiancee's life this (from her blog) is all you would have heard today "I got to work and felt weird just randomly, then looked down and realized that my tank top that is underneath my cardigan is on backwards. Guess that's what I get for getting dressed in the dark!" That's my mama, gotta love her!

Thank GOD I decided to start blogging! Hope you all enjoy my new multimedia on the blog, I decided to make it look like a 3rd grader wasn't running this site.

September 14, 2009

Had an "old person" moment....

So last Friday after work I had one of those dreaded old person moments. Another week of work had come to an end so some co-workers of mine decided we should go have some beers/cocktails after work to unwind and hang out, outside of work for a change. This having been a lifelong work dream of mine I eagerly accepted, excited to show my co-workers, "Normal, Fun, Not at work" Jimmy. Which coincidentally is pretty much one man in the same as "Work" Jimmy. Anyways I had an exciting dinner date set up with my beautiful fiancee' Brittany at Old Shawnee Pizza (Holla!) later so I said my goodbyes after some beers and rocking out the jukebox, impressing all around. (Sidenote about me, rocking the jukebox/music at bars and parties is a passion of mine. I pride myself on my music picking abilities and am convinced my calling in life is to be a DJ somehow, but maybe thats another blog in and of itself).

So I am getting ready to leave when, before I go I ask my co-workers what they are doing this weekend. I let them know I will probably be down in Power and Light sampling the new Johnny's to watch KU play UTEP. By the way if you haven't been to that Johnny's yet, I HIGHLY recommend it. While it is a KU bar originally, they do a good job of making all fans feel at home as there KU, KSU, MU and Nebraska fans all there watching football. So as I ask a guy I work with what his plans are and he tells me he is going to the Pitt St. vs. NW Missouri St. game at Arrowhead earlier that day. I tell him, because I like him and think he is funny (not my whitey titey, cube over decorator in the previous post) that he should come down to P and L after the game and meet up with us and hang out. He says yeah maybe and I soon after depart for my date with my Mama. Fast forward about 15 minutes and I'm sitting at a stoplight on Shawnee Mission Parkway and Nieman Rd. replaying the exchange with my co-worker over and over in my head.

For some stupid reason I start getting a tad anxious about it. What if I really wanted him to come for some reason, how would I ever get a hold of him? I don't have his cell number. I then proceed to get really mad at myself. I can't figure out why this is bothering me. So I progress in my thoughts a little further and play out a scenario in my head in which I was leaving the bar and before I left I asked my cool co-worker for his number. I imagined in my head the incident and saw myself putting in his name in my phone and it hit me. Oh my lord I am 25.

Why you are probably asking?? Well in my imagination as I was putting his number in my phone I put in his First name and Last name. Gone are the days of nicknames in my phone of Nutso, Heebs Chewy, Mo Sizzz etc. Gone are Amy Chemistry Lab, Justin Geometry Class, Frank from Dallas. It hit me like a ton of bricks and I thought, man you know you are getting old when you start putting new phone numbers in your phone and instead of just a first name or a nickname you put their full given name.

I quickly snapped out of my funk, once I got the aroma of the greatest pizza in the world, and my 2 second attention span turned to one of my favorite songs on the radio. Naturally with my love for DJ'ing and infant like attention span, I thought, Man if I was a DJ, I would play this song next.....

Man I am weird, and old...

September 10, 2009

Cube Life...

So I didn't even know my blog existed. My good sis Vanessa found it, and I am pretty sure she is the only one that reads it (HEY SIS!!). Anyways, for her sake and mine I am going to give this blog thing another shot. So here goes.

Now with my new job I am reacquainted with "cube life." You know, where everyone knows everything about you and you share walls with people. A life very similar to living in your college apartment, just minus your friends, tv, beer and anything else fun that you did in there (if its like my college apartments, its roughly the same size as well). Of course you have your standard people I've come to realize.

You have "YouTube," guy. You know the type, he is always up to date on the 35,863,283,232 you tube videos out there and knows precisely the one that is the rage for that day. He gets nothing done and thinks in some twisted way that by finding funny homemade videos other people make, this somehow makes him funny?? I know, its puzzling to me too.

Then you have your loud talker, who no one likes. This person makes it awkward for everyone with their lack of regard for anyone else working. That guy sucks, and usually is fat and smells. It is a prerequisite that he has some old ghetto cellphone your parents have and it has to be on the LOUDEST volume setting possible. Rule one for normal people is turn the phone to vibrate or silent. Not this guy he doesn't play by those rules. What is even worse is that when this loud, boisterous tone erupts and makes you jump out of your seat beacuse it surprised you he picks up the cell phone and still manages to one up his cube volume setting and goes into straight out yelling into the phone because of poor reception, he thinks, when in reality its his hearing getting worse because of the volume he speaks at on the phone.

Lastly you have the anal person. This person is the neat freak and disgusts you because their desk is perfectly clean, and everything is organized. I find myself wanting to go in their cube and fart, just to infuse it with some sort of dirtyness. At my office this is the same person who is the over-decorator of their cube. Now I am all about jazzing up the cube, and adding some personal touches and what not, but I shit you not, this guy I work with brought in 30 pieces of "flare" for his cube. Like I said he is also the clean, organized cube guy and has them all strategically aligned like they are preparing for battle. Aside from farting in his cube I want to steal the 14 bobbleheads he brought in and hide them all over our office.

Now don't mistake me for a pooper in the punch. I like fun and creativness as much as the next guy, but isn't standard cube decor for a man just something like a favorite college team pint glass, maybe a calendar and a picture of the girlfriend/fiancee/wife?? Not this guy, he has like a 16 x 20 FRAMED pictures in there. I have like 2, 5x7's that are hung up by scotch tape. What gives?

Anyways, he annoys me and probably everyone around him. People are so weird. I got 20$ says this guy at my work, is a definite whitey titey guy. These are observations I have made throughout all of my jobs that have involved cubes, which is 2.

Wow this was fun, More to come later!

June 10, 2009


So everyone and their mother is blogging these days. Hell before I know it my mutt of a dog will be on blogging about his life. Me being the wannabe trendy person, I decided that I have a lot to say and that I should start my blog too. I'm not really sure what my stories/tales/opinions will be about. In fact I'm kind of mad at myself for even having a blog now.

Probably some sports. I love KU football and basketball. The Royals and Chiefs have tortured me my whole life. In fact I follow them too blindly to the point where they ruin my day and potentially week, with any loss.

Let's see, oh ya I'm getting married next April, the 10th to be specific. Surely I will have some stories about wedding planning, from the groom's perspective.

I come from a family of 5 boys, so I'm sure there will be some epic sagas about growing up in an all male household.

Anyways I am fairly certain I can make this entertaining enough so that at the very least my family and friends will read it. Stay tuned for more blog fun!

But for now let's enjoy some youtube fun, from who I claim is a family member of mine.

Adios Amigos!